chester

There's something I would like to say about the unfortunate news of Linkin Park singer, Chester Bennington taking his own life. People who say suicide is "selfish" doesn't understand severe depression. The idea that someone suffering from depression is still in control is absurd. I can only assume people who believe this have never experienced depression. It's inevitable that as human beings we will all experience feeling very sad. However, feeling sad versus depressed is not the same. That is comparing apples and oranges. Until you have been there, you won't know what it truly feels like. No one can understand depression except those who have gone through it. For me, it is like a bomb that can blow up at any moment or a massive black hole. Once you are near or in it - your chances of making it out are hanging by a thread. Others may have had different experiences.

And please, enough with the whole "what about his kids" and "what about his fans" talk. Trust me, if you are feeling severely depressed for weeks to months that seems endless, no family, no friends, no religion, no amount of success will matter. Those are external motivators. Whatever purpose you won't find within, you won't outside of you.

There's nothing worse than being surrounded by the ones you love, have mostly everything you want in life, and still feeling alone and worthless. Depression is a constant battle and daily struggle, for some people it's too much and they see no other way out, and for the lucky few who seek help manage to fight another day.

With depression, you think you want to die, but in reality, you just want to be saved. And I feel the only person who can save you is that person you are feeling the way you're feeling. Luckily for me, it was her who saved me. I remembered the last things she tried teaching me. Again as always, I didn't comprehend it at first. In time I did - I always do. Now, how am I doing with battling with my demons now? Well, that will have to wait for another day.


Prev  3.0

naoko Next