Hello, old friend.

Sorry for my hiatus disappearance. I've been away. I know I should be journaling again. There's so much on my mind I want to say. Some are semi-written down but I’m not ready to share publicly but it is helping me process. Writing is like sitting in a sauna, sweating out the toxins that linger underneath my skin. It’s also like rock climbing, stretching out at last, suspended. But I’m out of practice. Going these last few months without journaling has had some impact on me, but alas, I'm back.

I'm finding myself in a strange sort of limbo right now, the funkiest stage of my twenties to date. Yet, life has been feeling like an increasingly lonely place. I know I'm not alone, but I'm lonely. I can see all the reasons for why I should feel thankful and blessed for what I have and who cares for me, but once something even slightly bad happens, I forget about the good things and sulk about the bad. Why I'm like this, I wish I knew. I was never the type to forsake people and blessings, but what scares me nowadays is how easy it is for me to concentrate on the bad. There's so much happening right now, but I don't have the appetite to vent. Sometimes I want someone to ask, but as soon as they do, I automatically shut them down. I want to be around people, but as soon as I see any signs of them approaching, I crawl back into my shell.

2017 was a lost and found year. Stumbling around in this murky fog trying to bump into something where I fitted in. So I started working on a project. This wasn't just any project.. a very very special project. Once I started to see it had a potential of going somewhere I eliminated all distractions and bad energy to increase the chances of it succeeding. I was offered to do the creatives for Khalid and Normani's latest track called Love Lies. I was stoked but ended up turning it down. Once clients, turned down. Business partnerships, parted ways. Anything and everything that didn't align with our project I burned to ashes.

Do you have an idea what I've been working on? Here's a hint.. YGMFU.

So it all started back in September of 2017. I spent a solid week brainstorming potential names. After a lot of back and forth internal debate I decided to go with H8U. The first dilemma was trying to acquire h8u.com. It took 3-4 months of negotiation. During that time I was studying the "emo community" and built out an Instagram. Sadly @h8u was taken so I had to settle for @h8uworld (grown organically):

It's doing okay among the teenagers and young adults around the world. I get a lot of thank you, I love your page, to I want to kill myself. Some scary shit TBH. Working on H8U is fun and a curse in itself. My mind dwells on sadness figuring out what next to do for the brand. On the brighter side, it flows through my mind effortlessly given I've been feeling like this for awhile.

When I started the most important thing was getting the logo right. It took over 90 concepts and 2 1/2 months to complete. It had only two requirements. First, it had to look as if a pissed off girl took her lipstick and aggressively wrote it on a bathroom mirror. Second, it had to have a teardrop as a tribute. Look closely at the bottom circle of the number "8".

For our symbol, I wanted to stay minimal. The idea behind it is the reverse of wear your heart on your sleeve. Where an embroidered patch will be sewed onto the sleeve or arm cuffs for long sleeves:

Recently in the past 60 days is when I started to really hammer at it. Now we have over 20 designs and more being developed on a daily basis.

Our branding style is to be subtle and minimal as possible with a hint of sadness:

(what do you see?)

(a portion of the proceeds go to charity)

There's a lot more I would like to show you but that will have to wait for another time. Haven't launch yet nor it is ready, hopefully soon.

So what do you think, old friend?

p.s. i saw a glimpse of her at the temple today - my heart sunk and I hurried out (as usual)

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